Back from the Midwest
I'm happy to be back from the midwest. It was a weird experience to see my ex-boyfriend. I had a fun time, and I was able to finish my Christmas shopping. I also had a chance to see one of my siblings and my parents.
I know my blog readers are going to groan, but I'm thinking about getting back together with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't say anything about this to him when I was there. However, the way he looked at me...and he's always touching me...holding me...it's so sweet! Also, he did mention that he would be willing to move here when he finishes school in 2 years.
I plan on seeing my ex-boyfriend again over winter break (after my entire family leaves for Florida on the 28th, different trips), and I'm going to try to talk to him about our relationship. We talked about our relationship a little bit, but it was difficult because we were staying at his parents' house.
I realize that I need my distance from him in order to think with a clear head. I also abstained from any sort of "action" in order to keep my emotional side in check.
Feel free to ask questions or call me an idiot in my comments section!
10 comments:
Of course -- you've only been broken up for a few weeks! There's nothing like the comfort of an old relationsihp. There's also nothing wrong with considering getting back together, but give yourself more time before you actually consider it. Plus, two years (before he would be able to move and be closer to you) is a long time to be in a LDR!
Oh goodness girl, you're not an idiot. You're just a woman who JUST broke up with a man she was in love with. You can't be expected to just get over it. No one is that strong :)
It sounds like you made some decisions for yourself and that is good. And you are right...the distance will help you make the decisions with a clearer head. Sometimes space can do great things for a relationship...it can either bring you closer together or finalize the doubts you already had, but it definitely kicks you out of the rut you were in.
Good luck with your thinking this month. I know you will make the right decision for YOU! :)
AND get on those workouts when you can :)
It mostly depends on the reason you broke up... I'm a pretty new reader so I missed that.
What I do know is that you are not going to get over it if you keep seeing him. So if your intent is to keep torturing yourself and/or get back together... You're on the right track.
But I really think you should consider why you broke up, and if those reasons are still valid, you might want to consider keeping your distance for a while. Some men just like to string a woman along (and vice versa). Just be careful. Things aren't always what they seem... Plus, as Ophelie says: two years is a long time for an LDR.
I think the time and distance will definitely help you think some things through. I don't think there's necessarily a right or wrong answer, but I'm glad that you had a good time this weekend!
been reading your blog for sometime now, and I feel your agony re: the ex. you were very brave for going out to see him.
did he even offer to come and visit you? i think he should, but, only you can assess the real score.
It's completely normal to want to get back together and it's not always a bad idea. My boyfriend and I are on our third time dating (though we broke up the first two times so that he could concentrate on school) and have been together two full years now. I could've given him up forever, but didn't.
I think that abstaining from action is one of the smartest things you can do right now while you consider things. Just make sure that he's willing to give you everything you want before getting back together. While every relationship needs compromise, you can't compromise on the most important things to YOU.
Good luck!
I recently went through that situation. However, now that it's been over two months since we've broken up - it's a LOT easier. And I know my ex-bf was not the right person for me. But it was VERY difficult to be alone and come to that realization and not just get back into the relationship b/c we were both hurting.
Good luck. Life throws you curveballs, sometimes!
2 years is a long time. It is doable only if you are both extremely committed. Even then, will you have the chance to be together for summers or parts of the year? I kind of doubt it, since grad students usually stick around and research all summer. If not, can you deal with seeing him so little? I did LD on and off for quite some time, but as soon as the distance became a plane ride (instead of driving) things got really difficult, and I knew I wouldn't be able to deal for much longer.
But. no one would call you an idiot for considering it. Like someone said, it is normal, and not always a bad idea.
What will make you happiest in the long term?
You are so not an idiot. You two are in love and have been together for a long time. Breaking up is never an easy decision to make. I think it was good you guys saw each other and spoke. You definitely don't have to make any decisions now. I think the distance will help you both with decisions. All the best!
My best friend did the long distance thing with her BF for THREE YEARS. She was in Vancouver, and he was in FRANCE!!!
They saw each other maybe 2 or 3 times a year.
She said that it was very difficult, but if you love someone and you can't imagine being with anyone else, then it's worth the wait. It takes a lot of commitment and trust. And the right person!
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